I Suck At Titles!
by fullmetal-babe
Summary: But when I think of one, i'll put it there. Crossover with Naruto. The ninjas are after Helena, and the only person that can saver her is a DIFFERENT ninja she's never even met before. What will happen? Alot
1. Intro

Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto or Dead Or Alive. That's just too bad.

Anyways though... um... enjoy. And no flaming. It makes me sad :(

But review with suggestions if you want :)

Helena Douglas, the woman in charge of DOATEC, was a very, very, stressed out woman. Right now she was bothering Lisa, pacing in the large science lab. She sighed in frustration. "Lisa, what am I gonna _do_? I mean, Bayman and Christie quit and I can't protect myself against all the ninja against me at any given time, you know! Oh, this is just _impossible_!" Helena scoffed.

"Helena, would you _please_ stop pacing, you're making me dizzy." Lisa calmly stated, returning to work on her papers. "But if you want _my_ suggestion, there's this one ninja that might be able to protect you-"

"ANOTHER ninja!? I don't think so! The ninjas are the ones _after _me! I don't want help from him." Helena yelled, stopping in her tracks.

"But... he's from an entirely different village and-"

"Well let's keep it that way."

"You're all out of other options. This is your only choice."

"No." Helena refused, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You have to."

Helena sighed. "Is'ent there anybody _else_?"

"No, this is it."

"...Fine...but one mistake and it's done."

"Oh, thank God, Helena! I'll have to try and call him tonight."

"Please, don't remind me."

"So what are you gonna do for tonight?"

"I... don't know."

"Well then how about you stay at my house? We can pull an all nighter and maybe Tina can-"

"I need my sleep, Lisa."

"Pleeeeease?"

"You win again. But just for tonight."

"Okay then. You know my shift ends at nine, so just meet me in the lobby and we'll go to my house!

"Yeah, I will." Helena said, slightly angered, and left the lab.

Lisa smiled excitedly and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed a number and waited for a few rings. Finally, someone picked up.

"Hello?" asked a girl's voice.

"Um, is Kakashi there?" Lisa asked.

"Oh, yeah, hang on a minute. KAKASHI SENSEI!!!!!!!!!" The girl yelled. "There's someone on the phone for you."

Lisa waited while the two talked for a bit.

"Hello?" Kakashi finally asked.

"Hey, it's Lisa."

"Oh, how are you?"

"Just fine. Hey, I have a favor to ask you. Can you come over here and take a bodyguard mission for me? It's _really_ importaint."

"Uh, I don't see why not but i'll have to say something to Tsunade. When do you need me?"

"LIke... tomorow morning?" Lisa asked, feeling kind of guilty.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, sorry about not warning you soon enough."

"That's okay. I'll try and be there."

"Oh... just a warning... she's gonna be quite a handful."

"Oh, a challenge, huh?"

"Oh yeah, big one."

"Well gee, thanks." Kakashi sarcastically remarked.

"Uh, you're welcome! I guess i'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye." Lisa said and hung her phone up. She looked at the clock by her desk. It was already eight. Not very much time until she had to go get Helena.

Yeah, I know it was kind of short but it's only the beginnig. Review and stuff... and i'll be happy


	2. Start The Sleepover!

Okay...so I got five reviews for my first chapter. Go me. And they were all good. And if I want more, I had better write, because I have'nt in forever. So um...enjoy.

"You're late." Helena said, throwing down the magazine she was reading. It was only five minutes past nine. Lisa had to close up for the night so Helena just had to deal with it.

"Uh...my bad, Helena." Lisa said, glancing up at the clock and making a face.

"That's okay.So what about Tina?"

"Oh my gosh, I totally FORGOT!!!!!" Lisa exclaimed and pulled out her phone. "I was so busy and I had to call Kakashi and, oh no what if she can't?" Lisa exclaimed.

_Jeez, she's really overwhelmed_, Helena thought. "Well...It's just a sleepover, there's no need to get all over-"

"Tina?" LIsa asked, she was already on the phone with her.

Helena sighed. She just waited for Lisa to finish up her conversation and then they could gtet out of here for the night.

"Okay, bye." Lisa concluded and tried to hang up her phone.

"LISA WAIT!!!" you could her Tina scream practically across the room, and she was only on a phone!

_Maybe this sleepover was'nt a good idea..._

"Yeah, what is it Tina?" Lisa asked bringing the phone to her ear.

Silence, except Lisa occasionally.

"Yes,Tina, you can bring ice cream...um, I don't think... well, if you really wanna ask..."

Lisa gave Helena the phone. "Tina wants to talk to you." She said.

"Hello?" Helena asked.

"HI HELENA!!!!!!!" Tina exclaimed.

"There's no need to yell, Tina. I can hear you just fine."

"Hey, if I bring over ice cream, will you eat it with me and Lisa, cause we'll feel like fattys if you don't."

"..."

"Well... actually Lisa didn't agree with me on the 'i'll feel like a fatty' thing but I know she will."

"..."

"You there?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah I am."

"Well it's mint ice cream which I love only Zack gave it to me and so I decided if it's poisoned then- oooooooooooooh, soorry. Did'nt mean to bring up the poison thing..."

Helena sighed. "Yeah, i'll eat it."

"Lady Tsunade, Kakashi wants to talk to you." Shizune said, walking into the Hokage's office. And of course, Kakashi was with her.

"Huh, what??" Tsunade asked, quickly lifting her head off her desk.

"Tsunade you can't sleep, you have papers to do!"

"IT'S ELEVEN THIRTY SHIZUNE!!!!!!!"

"WELL IF YOU HAD DONE THEM EARLIER-"

"Um, excuse me, can I ask something now?' Kakashi cut in, and the yelling stopped.

"Oh yeah, you. What's up?" Tsunade asked.

"I had a friend of mine request a mission for me and I-"  
"What kind of mission."

"A bodyguard mission I think but-"

"Who asked you?"

"This Lisa person but can I go?"

"For how long? Where are you going? Who's paying?"

_Hey I know what to do..._"Uh...what?"

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Um..."

"Huh?"

"What?"

Tsunade sighed. "Just go Kakashi."

_I am so good._ "Thank you." he said, and left.

"Wow, that was confusing." Tsunade said, when Kakashi was gone.

Helena and Lisa (and now Tina) all entered Lisa's house."Hey, guys I brought that ice cream I said I would bring." Tina said.

"Cool." Lisa said.

"Oh and I brought a whole bunch of other cool stuff too."

"Yay, this is gonna be so much fun!"

"Let's watch a scary movie or something!!!!"

"Ooh, or play truth or dare!"

"Hell yeah!"

"Or I never!"

"Or let's go ring on people's doorbells and run away before they get it!"

"That's called Ding Dong Ditch Tina."

"Yeah, that."

"Don't people get in trouble for stuff like that?" Helena asked.

"Yeah, people that get caught." Tina said.

"Ding Dong Ditch is a children's game."

"So?"

"Well...i'm just saying it's a bad idea."

"You wearing the same hairstyle every day is a bad idea, let's do makeovers!!!!"

_Yeah right, like i'm letting you fool around with my hair, TIna. _"Okay, let's do that after Ding Dong Ditch."

"Yeah, let's go get some houses!"

"Thanks for letting me stay with you for awhile, Zack." Kakashi said. (Oh yeah, did I mention that Kakashi knows Zack because TIna and Lisa are best friends and Zack is Tina's boyfriend? You should know that.)

"No problem. I have nobody here anyways cause Tina's gone the night." Zack replied.

"Well, i'm gonna visit Lisa in the morning so that works."

"HAH, you're dating LISA!?!?!?!?!?"

"WHAT!?!? NO!!!"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So then are you gonna ask her out tomorrow?"

"No."

"Oh."

Okay there's my newest chapter. So remember that Kakashi is spending the night at Zacks because you'll need to know that for the next chapter and I bet you probably know why already anyways. But yeah reviews and stuff...do that


	3. Meet Kakashi

Okay, I read over my last two chapters (and yay i got more reviews) and its kind of hard to tell when the scenes change, so i'll be trying to fix that from now on.

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"I don't really know much about this..." Helena said. She was standing in front of the first house with Tina and Lisa. "And I think we should go home."

"Psh, yeah right. Just... go ring the doorbell. It's that simple."

So Helena took another good look at the house. It was a decent, two floor house, painted light blue. The number by the door said 46. Helena looked at Tina.

"Tina?" She asked.

"What?"

"Isn't this your house?"

"No. Stop stalling and go ring the doorbell."

"Fine." Helena said. She walked up the steps and rang the doorbell, then gave two light knocks on the door. She stood there. "Now what?"

"Hello?" Zack asked, opening the door.

"Oh. It is my house..." Tina said.

"What do you guys want?" Zack asked.

"Uh...nothing..." Tina said.

"Hi, Lisa!" Kakashi said from the living room.

"Hi!!" Lisa said. "Helena come with me really quick, I have someone you have to meet."

"By someone you don't mean Tina's cat Bomper, do you, because Bomper has alredy had the chance to claw at my ankles before." Helena said.

"Bomper is only a kitten, Helena."

"Yeah, and so are her other cats Romper, Stomper, and Boo, right?"

"Come on, let's go." Lisa said and pulled Helena into Tina's house with her. They walked (well Lisa walked, Helena was kind of dragged along protesting) into the livingroom. Kakashi was reading that orange book he always reads, sitting on the couch.

"Kakashi, this is Helena." Lisa said.

Kakashi put his book down. "Oh...nice to meet you Helena. Your'e not by any chance my client, are you."

_This must be that ninja._ Helena thought, "Yes, I am." She said, already wishing she could go home.

"Well, i'm Kakashi." he said and picked up his book again. It was silent in the room for a few minutes. A small tan kitten came running into the room, right onto the couch next to Kakashi. "Well, hi there Stomper." Kakashi said and pet the kitten, who started purring.

Helena rolled her eyes.

"You don't like Stomper?" Kakashi asked.

"No." Helena said, slightly raising her voice.

"Then I don't like you." Kakashi said calmly.

Lisa's jaw dropped. Helena just stood there confused.

"It was a joke." Kakashi said.

"HEY!" Tina yelled, running into the room. "You guys all left me alone!!!" Then she noticed Kakashi. "Ooh, Helena, you lucky girl! He's a hottie."

"TINA!" Zack yelled.

"Shut up, Zack."

"Awww, that's rude."

"Uh, Helena, how about we all leave you and Kakashi alone, so you can get to know eachother?" Lisa suggested, more to Tina and Zack than to Helena, pushing the arguing couple out the room, slamming the door while Tina yelled "I don't tell you how to live YOUR life!" at Zack. Both Helena and Kakashi heard the sound of Lisa locking the door. Helena just kind of figured that she was stuck with this ninja she didn't even know. She sat down on the couch next to Kakashi. She tried making small talk.

"So um... what's it like being a ninja?" She asked.

"It's tough." was all Kakashi said. "What do you do?"

"Well, I sing opera, but when i'm not doing that I participate in fighting tournaments."

"Really? What's your fighting style?"

"Pi Qua Quan."

"Oh. You must be pretty strong."

"Yeah, I guess...not that much or I woulden't be needing help."

"You wanna have a sparring match?" Kakashi asked like it was a normal question.

"What!? We're in Tina's living room! We'll break stuff!"

"So we go out in the backyard."

It was silent for a few seconds.

"No." Helena said.

"Don't be a baby."

Helena sighed."

"Come on."

"You know that you could beat me with one hand tied behind your back, what does it matter to you how strong I am?"

"Just because."

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay, only a few hits." Helena said reluctaintly.  
"That's the spirit, Helena!" Lisa exclaimed, unlocking the door. "You and Kakashi go have fun."

"It won't be." Helena said and walked past Lisa out the front door.

Lisa looked at Kakashi. "God, you can practically feel her anger."

Kakashi smiled, "Yeah, I know."

"..."

"..."

"She's gonna kick your ass."

"No she's not."

"Yes she is."

"Sure. I'll be back in like two minutes. We'll see who the winner is, okay?"

"I've got ten bucks on Helena." Lisa said.

"Ten on Kakashi." Tina said.

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There. I finally updated. Good for me. Next chapter : there'll be a sex scene (no, not really, ew)


	4. The Fight

Okay... so I know that I have'nt written in forever. I'm just always busy. With stuff. Umm... enjoy my newest chapter for now, because who knows when the next time i'll update is

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Helena sighed as she dug her heels into the cold ground underneith her. She thought her current situation was actually pretty funny. Alot of things can happen in about three hours. First she let Tina and Lisa take her to play ding dong ditch. Then they find out it's actually Tina's house. Then Helena meets Kakashi. Now she's standing in Lisa's backyard on a nice cool evening about four feet away from a man she's about to fight and knows nothing about.

"Except that his name is Kakashi, that is." Helena told her mind under her breath.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing." Helena said a little louder.

"Oh."

It was silent for a few seconds.

"Are we gonna fight or not?" Kakashi finally asked.

"Yeah." Helena said, trying to make the silence stretch as long as she could.

"Say go when you're ready." Kakashi said.

It was silent another few seconds. A flock of birds flew by.

"Hey, look. Birds." Kakashi said.

Helena decided it was now or never. If she was ever gonna win, she'd have to take him by suprise. Without warning, she rushed foreward and threw the hardest kick she'd probably ever made. Kakashi fell backwards. He hit the ground violently and did'nt move. It looked like he was'nt breathing.

"Uh, are you okay?" Helena asked.

Then Kakashi disappeared into smoke, a log in his place. Helena looked at the log, confused. Before she even had the chance to realize what had just happened, she felt pain shoot up her back and she screamed as she was was thrown to the ground, Kakashi standing behind her. Slowly, she brought herself back up to her feet. Kakashi threw the next couple of hits, which Helena managed to dodge, but not by much. She was struggling to at least make a reverse. After a couple of seconds she managed to catch his fist in her hand. She roughly pushed it away, Kakashi losing his balance, then she threw a punch of her own, which hit him right on his nose. He staggered back a little, and Helena did'nt move after him. He regained his momentum shortly though, and within a minute he was winning again. And again, Helena was on the defensive side. Kakashi threw one hit after another, each one as violent as the last one. He tripped Helena, who fell to the ground. The match was pretty much over then. Kakashi was going to win. Helena closed her eyes.

"YO KAKASHI!" Zack screamed from the now open back door, "SOMEONE'S HERE FOR YOU!"

It was silent for a few seconds.

"OKAY!" Kakashi yelled back. He looked over at Helena, who was still on the ground. "Need help up?" he asked, reaching his arm down to her.

Helena lifted her head up. "Um... excuse me? I thought we had a match..."

"We'll call it a tie, okay?"

"Okay." Helena replied and took his hand. He helped her back to her feet and they walked together back into Zack's house.

"That was _not_ a tie." Helena said under her breath.

The end. I had to end the chapter a little earlier than exected, but um... new character next chapter :)

Bet you'll never guess who.


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